nimblesnotebook-blog:

The best would be to ask someone who is pansexual or demisexual. Anyway…

PANSEXUAL

There are a lot of definitions for pansexuality, but they all essentially mean the same thing, which is: pansexuality is a sexual orientation in which an individual finds attraction in people of all genders and sexes.

Here is a longer definition.

Here is another definition.

Some pansexual people feel they are genderblind, but it’s important to remember that gender can be a very important part of someone’s life and many pansexuals respect that. So be careful with that term if you use it for your character.

More:

• Ask a Pansexual
• Critique of Captain Jack Harkness’s Pansexuality
• Some Differences and Similarities Between Bisexuality and Pansexuality
• More Links

DEMISEXUAL

This blog has many resources, posts, and a definition at the top of it on demisexuality.

Here is another definition.

More:

• Helpful Links and Blogs

Unfortunately, that’s all I’ve got. Maybe a pansexual or demisexual (or both) person could write a guide?

thestasher:

fuckyeahcharacterdevelopment:

People don’t ‘become’ asexual. They are asexual or they are not. Someone who is unable to commit to a sexual relationship after sexual abuse has not suddenly turned into an asexual. They are avoiding sex and sexual contact for deeply personal, psychological reasons which should be explored with a therapist.

Additionally, it is perfectly possible for asexuals to have a sexual relationship. Here is a site that has a brief look at what it means to be asexual.

There is the argument that sexuality can be fluid, but I would say that someone who ‘wakes up asexual’ is just waking up to what their actual sexuality has been for a long while. That’s not to say that certain individuals aren’t justified in their sexuality ‘changing’, but I think to suggest that asexuality can be ‘acquired’ is passing it off as a ‘phase’ and not a legitimate sexuality. I would say that’s pretty offensive…

Please research before you write this character! Are they asexual or aren’t they? Perhaps your character is ‘enlightened’ to their asexuality, which might be a better idea to focus on. Sometimes, people can go a long while without truly knowing their sexual identity, which is in a lot of cases confusing and upsetting. I’m sure there will be people out there willing to give you some insight on what it’s like to be asexual if you’re willing to handle the subject with respect.

I hope this has cleared up your worry somewhat. Followers, please feel free to correct me if you think I’ve given poor advice.

enlee.

(Some helpful sources: Can one suddenly turn asexual?, Things That Are Not Asexuality)

EDIT: Oh, and I forgot to add this! We have our own article up about asexuality, so please give it a read!

This is a major thing to keep in mind when writing anything along these lines. Abuse may cause someone to become emotionally and/or physically unwilling/unable to be intimate or sexual afterward, but it does not make them asexual. There is no cause for asexuality, but there would be a cause for someone to become nonsexual in this scenario. Also, therapy has the potential to help someone who has gone through abuse (though everyone is different and some may not find therapy very helpful) but it won’t someone who is asexual, because someone who is asexual has no cause that they must learn to deal with.